We all have spoken and unspoken, written and unwritten rules of our lives. For relationship purposes, it’s simply called the code (code of ethics and logic for that matter). We have rules for if we see someone we both like, how do we decide who gets to talk to them? If you hear someone talking about your friend, what is your next move? Your mans get into a fight, do you jump too? I’m sure you all just answered these questions with little to no problem, but what do you do if you are crushing on someone your friend used to deal with? Do you take your shot or not play the game?
I think the answer depends on whose code we are talking about. In my experience, guys and girls handle this differently. For guys, the general rule seems to be if your friend wasn’t in love with the chick or didn’t have feelings then she is free bait. Don’t quote me on this. 1) I am not a man. 2) some men are a little more in their feelings than others. You can’t share everyone with the team. For ladies, at least in my case, you do not talk to your friends ex-anything. It is usually a turn-off that your friend has already dealt with them. Although this should be the standard rule, there may be a little wiggle room depending on the person.
If you really can’t seem to pull yourself from this person, approach your friend about it. Let them know you are feeling someone from their past and wanted to know if it was cool if you took it there with them. If your friend was ever in love with this person or you know they had deep feelings for them, just go ahead and cut your losses because there is no way in hell that this would be acceptable.
If you are not sure how your friend will react or you guys haven’t really talked about what the code is, now is probably a good time to make sure you guys are all on the same page. There are so many friendships that have been broken and lost all because someone broke the code. Don’t let that be you. Adhere to the code man!