Going through a break up can be very hard. Even months or a year after the break up and your still single can be a challenge as well. You may talk to other people, but still feel a void and just want to have someone who will be around more often, hold u and just fill the role of the boyfriend or girlfriend. The problem with this, to me, is that you do not want to rush into something too soon. You don’t want to make a mistake and give the wrong person special privileges or access to you. So I am encouraging you to wait, but what is it to do to fill that void?
To be honest, the process isn’t short or easy. What I am suggesting you do may make you cry at times, question yourself at times, and even want to have a rebound or a cutty buddy. I suggest being alone. I think that you cannot ultimately be happy with someone else unless you are completely happy with yourself. You cannot make someone else happy if you are unhappy yourself. I think it is important to truly work on and focus on you. You can never stop improving yourself. I am not talking about just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.
At the end of the time you spend getting to know you, remember this is not a quick process, you should be in love with yourself. You should be satisfied with everything about you from the inside out. You should genuinely be happy to see other happy couples and not question their relationship or the fact that you are single. You should be able to reappraise your worth and come out with a higher value. You should wake up happy because you woke up and not sad because you woke up alone. Become one with yourself again. Get to know who you are before you think about sharing yourself, in any way, with anyone else.
Some good ways to become happy with yourself is by treating yourself. There are times where I have a nice, relaxing bath, listen to my favorite songs, read great books, watch timeless movies, or simply write my feelings out in a letter or a poem. Try things like that. When you can tolerate being alone inside, take it outside. Go shopping, out to eat, to the movies, to a play, to listen to music, sit by the water, explore the city, to a bar, or even on a nice walk.
If you are not happy with your body, I want you to stand in front of a full length mirror completely naked. Take yourself in, flaws and all. Hug yourself. Talk to yourself about loving you before letting anyone else love you, because if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? This may make you cry, but I encourage you to release those tears. Now, in the same mirror, acknowledges all of the things you like about yourself. Admire your beauty. Day by day, you should then embrace the attributes you could care less about and realize that those “flaws” make you the beautiful person that you are.
We may not all be religious, but you can still go through a spiritual cleanse. If you are religious, read your sacred scripture, go to the sanctuary, have a conversation with your God and pray for exactly what you want. You could also look into getting daily devotions sent to your phone or email. If you are not religious, try yoga, pilates, exercising or meditating. Simply enjoying the silence and settling your mind can be one of the most relaxing things you can do. Stretching your body can prove to be more than simply that.
Like I said, I am not asking you to do something simple. Refraining from the dating world to get yourself together can be a little challenging because seriously, who wants to be alone? Most of us would agree that we prefer to have a little company. (FYI: when I say alone, this does not mean you can’t be around friends or family. I just wanted to make sure I actually state that.) Once you get back to you, you will realize that having yourself as company can be better than having anyone else. Enjoy your “me time” while you have it!